29 jul 06
More than once this weekend, Megan and I have both said that if we weren’t speaking at this conference, we would not be here. This doesn’t mean I think it’s a bad conference, it just might not be the best conference for me. This was highlighted this morning in a panel called “Get Deeply Geeky,” which ended up being a lot about empowering women, where I was hoping it would be more about geeky stuff—tech, development, blogs about these things, and women in these fields blogging about them.
It’s funny, but I’m reminded every so often (especially at this conference) that I’m not a very good woman. I don’t know how else to put it, but I say that to encompass my almost zero interest in most women’s issues and female activism and empowerment. Now, I think women deserve to vote and can have careers and can do whatever they want to. However, I hate the male-bashing and whining about it being a male world that so often dominates feminist conversations (but, as a caveat, not all conversations). For example, one of the take away points from the session was to hire women or help other women get hired, etc. Are you kidding me?! Hiring someone because they’re a woman is just as bad as hiring someone because they are a man. There seems to be a little bit of a double standard going on there.
I wonder, though, if I’ve just been ridiculously sheltered. No one of any importance in my life ever made me feel like I couldn’t do something because I’m a girl. No one ever asked me if my boyfriend did my homework for me (that was an experience shared in the session). Most of the men I’ve encountered think it’s really cool (sometimes almost creepily) that I’m into computers and technology.
I’m not saying the gender bias doesn’t happen, or that it hasn’t happened to me. When I worked at Best Buy, fairly regularly I wasn’t taken seriously because I am a girl. But besides using it as an example, I don’t whine about it, and I mostly see it as humorous. If those people have that kind of hang up, they have more problems than who is trying to help them buy a computer.
Mostly, I just identify with/want to be treated like a person, not a woman or a man or a space alien.
Laura / 29 jul 2006 / 9:35 p.m.
It’s good to hear your opinions on this conference, because I feel exactly where you’re coming from (we probably have similar backgrounds/experiences) and now I think I would have the same thoughts about it. Always wondered. Thanks for sharing that.
Aubrey / 30 jul 2006 / 11 a.m.
“No one of any importance in my life ever made me feel like I couldn’t do something because I’m a girl.”
Same here. I feel the same way you do about this.
Jen / 30 jul 2006 / 4:04 p.m.
Oh my gosh! I’m so glad someone else feels the same way I do! :) I don’t think whining and complaining about a male dominated world is very much fun! I think that’s why the Blogher thing never appealed to me much, seems like a big estrogen fest ;) heh Not that it’s a bad thing, just not my cup of tea.
Of course, it could be, like you said- I’ve never really had to deal with discrimination because I’m a girl. Which I am very thankful for! So I’m sure that has something to do with my feelings.
Kathy Sierra / 30 jul 2006 / 6:02 p.m.
Thank you so much for saying this!
I feel exactly the same way, and I HAVE been a “woman in the tech field” for nearly 20 years. Thanks for being brave enough to say this, and I’m glad there are others here who agree.
Shelley / 30 jul 2006 / 7:46 p.m.
Kathy, why is it you think those who say what you want them to say are the brave ones? After all, aren’t you, personally, benefiting from not rocking the boat?
Kathy Sierra / 30 jul 2006 / 10:13 p.m.
Her point —especially given the context of BlogHer—is the less popular, less accepted, less politically correct one. In my book, that takes courage. And I’ll throw your question back out —why is that women who disagree with you on this must be—as you referred to her— “naive at best; self-centered at worst” ? (and lacking empathy) You see naive, I see willing to speak an unpopular view. As for not rocking the boat… what boat?
Brian Ford / 31 jul 2006 / 12:07 p.m.
Great post! Jeff Croft pointed me to you after reading my query about Blogher — I was curious to find out whether the stated goal (promoting women bloggers, etc.) was achievable through such a conference.
You can read it here, if you’re interested.
My thoughts are that it might be more limiting than anything else.
Shelley / 29 jul 2006 / 7:26 p.m.
When you get to be a 50 something woman working in the tech field and you still feel this way, you let us know.